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I Didn't Wanna Know (Live Demo)

by Jade Barbee

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about

This is a New York story, from the 90s.

A couple years ago, a friend of a friend named Dave was visiting. Dave is an accomplished songwriter (see Murder Ball), and a very good piano player.

While we were hanging out, I told him a story about the time, 'I didn't want to know.' It was about a situation I didn't need to be in, and couldn't find a way out of. He said it sounded like a song...

Dave wrote a different arrangement initially, which was more energetic. Since I've been playing it on my own, it became more melancholy.

Like Fantasy Life, in this recording I was composing a lot of the piano part on the fly while singing it, which is probably why I ended up forgetting a bunch of words. There's supposed to be a line that says, "any which way the wind carries me / that isn't always home", which I'll try to hit in a future recording.

I like these live, inspired moments of creation. It represents an honest take of a moment in time. I hope you will enjoy it as I do.

lyrics

Lyrics:

I was dancing downtown at the no-tell bar
Waiting for a ride in his fancy car
I liked his sense of humor
And the way that he smiled when he looked at me

He gave me an apartment, a place to crash
I was not that curious about his past
Life was so much safer now in his grasp (!)
I didn't as about the cash
I didn't want to know

I didn't want to know
I was blind excuses were mine
"Don't wanna leave somebody alone"
I didn't want to face up to the fact
My heart wasn't in it
I didn't wanna see what was in front of me
Someone who could stand on his own
My gut instinct was to run
But I didn't wanna know

There's a safe of the wall
I thought it was money
They're bugging the house, the car and phone
I though it was funny
Till the cops came around
banged through my door
And I found myself face down on the floor
I was taken down
My life was crashing round
All of those things that you done
I didn't wanna know

I didn't want to know
I was blind excuses were mine
"Don't wanna leave somebody alone"
I never wanted to face up to the fact
My heart wasn't in it
I never wanted to see what was in front of me
Someone who could stand on his own two feet
My gut instinct was to run
But I didn't wanna know

"
Any which way the wind carries me
That isn't always home
My gut instinct was to run
but I didn't wanna know...

credits

released June 10, 2019
Music and Lyrics by Jade Barbee and David Sale. Photo of Mother Flawless Sabrina (aka Jack Doroshow) "Cheering Us On" by Jade Barbee, 2003

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all rights reserved

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about

Jade Barbee image

Jade Barbee

Jade Barbee is a writer, singer, EFT practitioner/educator, collaborator, and former showgirl.

"I write songs and make pictures to make sense of my experiences, and to tell empowering stories - better ones than I may have told myself once upon a time." – Jade

Drawings by Jade Barbee

Photo by Candace Blankenship ... more

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